With a “doodle” by LE Stevens…

The Perfect Christmas tree
Gramma wanted a Christmas tree
and it’s got to be big and nice
Me? I’m thinkin’ of the cost
tree’s like that are high priced!
But then I have an idea
I’ll get one just like she wants
I’ve seen the perfect Christmas tree
while out riding on one of my daily jaunts
I saddles up my good ol’ horse
and take along my rope and ax
Head to where this tree is at
I’ll even save on payin’ sales tax
We ride up to the perfect tree
it’s a real beautiful wintry day
Just me and the tree and Mama Nature
my ax, purty scenery and ol’ bay
I finally get the tree chopped down
tie my rope on and head back home
I’m dallied to the perfect tree
it’s just like a cheerful Christmas poem!
As we top over a ridge
what do you suppose I see?
There’s a big ol’ furry bobcat
and he ain’t even noticed me!
Who wouldn’t rope a bobcat?
How can you pass up that chance?
It’s not often these things happen
Like America bein’ rescued by France!
We built to him hard and fast
Bobcats ain’t got much speed
Snow is flyin’ like a blizzard
Never weaken is my creed
I realize my rope is occupied
It’s hooked on to that perfect tree
Can’t slow down to unhook it
or ol’ Bob will get away from me!
So I starts to hand to hand it
pullin’ it closer to my saddle
I’ll slip it loose on the fly
We’re fixin’ to win this battle
Ol’ bay is closin’ on the prey
I’ve turned my reins plumb loose
My horse is duckin’, dodgin and trackin
I’m tryin’ to unlatch from that spruce
As the tree reaches our heels
Hits a rock and starts to sail
Just like a guided missile
Jabs bay underneath his tail
Then that tree goes flyin’
Hit the cat on the head
As I flew by I seen it all
Hopin’ I wouldn’t wind up dead
Next thing I kind’a recall
I’m stretched out in the snow
beside a badly battered bobcat
and ol’ bay’s limpin’ home slow
I staggered to my feet
I let the cat go free
I caught ol’ bay, we headed home
with a crumpled up christmas tree
So now my horses is scarred and scared
Bob is short some fur
Neighbor lady’s on the fight
Guess that lawn ornament was special to her!

robt dennis Christmas 2013 001
Words by Robert Dennis
Art by LE Stevens