Christmas poem

Got a new keyboard today so I am back at my usual pace… 😉

Read this out loud for best effect…

JW

You’d never guess from looking
the name they hung on him at his birth
I guess it wasn’t what you’d maybe expect
it was Johnathan William Hinklesworth

Now, that’s a purty long name
for just a tiny little feller
maybe he got it when Doc whacked his butt
cuz’ he let out a big man’s beller

Johnathan William was an elf
guess that sort’er maybe explains his size
but other than that and them pointy ears
he looked like one a the guys

He was like most little tykes
fightin’ with siblings and goin’ to school
runnin’ an’ wrasslin’ with his buddies and friends
actin’ rowdy and thinkin’ they’s cool

But the thing about ol’ JW
well… that’s what he called his self
was that he wanted adventure and action
more than your typical elf

He yearned to head down west
see… he lived way up north
he wanted to ride broncs and rope wild cattle
rodeo on the Fourth

There’d never been no elf cowboys
heck, they don’t run cattle way up there
horses was scarce as hen’s teeth
just snow and cold arctic air!

Like a kid raised in the city
he got by with books and TV shows
watching Roy and Gene and Lash LaRue
frustrated by cold and the snows

Made do with what he had
forged spurs from old rusty metal he found
built chaps out of a ratty ol’ walrus hide
Mama had left layin’ around

Asked Santa Claus for a Stetson
got it for Christmas, the very next year
order’d him a pony, but typical cowboy
his check just didn’t clear

You can’t keep horses at the Pole
there ain’t no hay or oats or grass
he got a Bruce Grant book on how to braid stuff
just to help the time pass

Braided a reindeer reata
70 foot long and it was a dandy
and after he practiced quite a spell
I tell you, he got plumb handy

But then he got into trouble
he was caught ropin’ ol’ Santa’s deer
snubbin’ ‘em up to an old sled runner
that had frozen up that year

Pleaded his case with St Nick
told him, cowboyin’ was all he wanted to do
so Santa thought it over for a spell
made JW stew

Then Santa made an announcement
said he was just callin’ a spade a spade
nothin’ to do but send him him down south
he could learn the cowboy trade

See, Santa knows lots a cowboys
they all owe Santa a great big debt
so he made a few calls and shipped the boy out
learn to cowboy, you bet!

That’s how it come to be
this little feller from way up at the North Pole
learned to rope and ride from the very best
too bad he learned to chew Skoal!

Now JW’s back up there again
ropin’ and trainin’ and swallerforkin’ ears
only difference ‘tween him and his southern friends?
he’s doin’ it with reindeers!

He’s finally found his niche
Buckaroo boss on the North Pole spread
mostly ropin’ and trainin’ them reindeer
to pull ol’ Santa’s sled

But now he’s got a new plan
called me last night, he’d been drinkin’ beer
put in an order for a custom made saddle
and it’s got’a fit a reindeer!

It’s got to be the right size
better be tuff, but light as air
bet he had a gleam in his beady little eyes
he’s gunn’a rope him a polor bear!

Robert Dennis 12/12
Picture by Lee Stevens