This is what I emailed out for our Christmas card this year. Well, I might mail it to one or two who are good friends no on the net. but here you go. Hope you enjoy it.
Has it ever crossed your mind
Why does Santa’ drive them deer?
When he makes his yearly Christmas trip
Bringing all those gifts and cheer
Well they weren’t his first attempt
To find something to pull the sleigh
He couldn’t use a horse of course
‘Cause of the high cost ‘uh hay
At least up at the North Pole
Where the growing season’s short
When I tell you these true facts, my friends
I hope that you don’t snort!
Polar bears are strong
So that’s where he began
Plenty of them roamin’ around them parts
‘Ol Santa’s a practical man
But can you even imagine
The trouble them boogers gave him?
Just trying to get them harness broke
Made things start looking grim
“Cause bears is always hungry
They don’t sell Purina bear kibble
When ever one wanted a little bitty snack
He’d grab an elf and start to nibble
Santa’s elves had hell with bears
Even whacked them with a scoop
One minute they was trainin’ Santa bears
The next they were just bear poop!
Them polar bears wasn’t workin
So they got some seals instead
No, not the kind that took out Bin Laden
Made sure that he was dead
I’m talkin’ the kind that swims
“Arf’s” and does tricks and such
But while flying they’d dive bomb the ocean for fish
Which was frozen, so it hurt a touch!
Walrus weren’t no better
Their breath had a fishy smell
‘Sides, he kept losing them to the local Inuit
Their favorite food, so they tell
Arctic fox were next on the list
They can evidently run real fast
But then they got the parvo and mange
So that attempt didn’t last
Finally he tried them reindeer
Easy to find and cheap to feed
Four legged critters with a regal bearing
Easy to train with fairly good speed
So there you have the story
Of why Santa drives all them deer
It’s the best poem I can come up with right now
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Robert Dennis Dec, 2011